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| Kaj aktualnemu MSFS manjka.. https://forum.kvls.si/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2500 |
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| Avtor: | VanZ [ 01 Nov 2007, 10:37 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | Kaj aktualnemu MSFS manjka.. |
Takole je v šali svoje preloge napisal uporabnik 2H4 na forumu Airliners.net: Microsoft should introduce an enhanced version of flight simulator that truly replicates the experience. First, before the game even fully loads, the player would be forced to wait about 15 minutes, then disconnect and reconnect all computer peripherals several times before waiting another 10 minutes and doing it all over again. This would simulate the hassle of dealing with the TSA. As the airplane is loading, MSN Messenger would open up, and three to five people would start bitching at the player and accusing him/her of their delayed flight/lost baggage/high ticket prices/small seats/etc. The player would not be allowed to continue until each person is dealt with in a polite manner. This would simulate the walk through the airport to the gate. Once seated in the airplane, Word would open several templates which would need to be filled out in their entirety before starting the engines. Some of these templates would be linked to Access and Excel. All would have to be filled out in exact accordance with company policy, which would be altered randomly, sporadically, and often. This would take another 15-20 minutes and would simulate paperwork. During the taxi, there would be at least 10-15 aircraft in line ahead of the player, who must wait his/her turn. On every other flight, the player would be allowed to advance the throttles, rotate, and activate the autoflight system. Upon reaching 10,000 feet, Windows Media Player would open, and the player would be connected to a live audio feed. This audio feed would be routed to one of several audio production centers, depending on whether the player is seated in the right or left seat. If the player is seated in the left seat, the audio feed would be connected with one of several aviation universities around the country, and would broadcast young pilots-to-be bragging about their most recent conquests involving inebriation at the frathouse, as well as an in-depth review of their most recent modifications to their car stereo systems. Depending on the length of the flight, the audio feed might also include a thorough assessment of the airline's flight attendants, and how each rates on a scale of sexual desirability. This would be broadcast to the player in realtime, and would simulate a first officer. If the player is seated in the right seat, the audio feed would be directly linked to the nearest VFW hall, where a volunteer would complain about the current state of flight training, and explain (in detail) how today's pilots are so woefully inadequate and inferior to the pilots of the 50s and 60s. The volunteer would go on to analyze (in great detail) how management, scheduling, and the union is falling short of his expectations. Pensions, retirement plans, and local government policy would be analyzed in detail, and complained about in even greater detail. Later in the flight, these volunteers would provide an in-depth review on their latest medical examination and describe the current state of various problematic systems and organs in their bodies. These volunteers would be broadcast at very high volumes. Descending back down through 10,000 feet, the audio feed(s) would stop. On every other flight, the player would be allowed to manage the autoflight system and flare the aircraft for landing. After the aircraft is parked at the gate, MSN Messenger would reopen, and more people would complain to the player. This time, there would be more complaints. Several would be pertaining to various aspects of the just-completed flight. On the way through the concourses, MSN Messenger windows would continue to open at various times to inquire about connecting flights, gate locations, and departure times. One or two windows would be complaining of lost baggage. All would have to be politely handled, or the game would restart. Before being allowed to exit the game, the player would have to view an hourglass icon for 20-45 minutes. Throughout the wait, the audio feed would broadcast a wailing baby and several people talking loudly on their cell phones, which would emit idiotic ringtones at random and regular times. This would simulate the wait for the hotel shuttle. The game would include an irregularly-shaped foam mat to be placed on the player's bed after the game. This would simulate the hotel bed. Throughout the night, the audio feed would re-open and broadcast the sound of doors slamming. These sounds would be played at the highest possible volume. Sometimes, the audio feed would also broadcast the sound of late-night infomercials leaking through the hotel walls. The on/off and volume controls of these features would not be accessible to the player. Finally, the program would emit an alarm at 4-5am to awaken the player for another session. |
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