| Forum virtualnega letalstva Slovenije https://forum.kvls.si/ |
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| en letalski vic https://forum.kvls.si/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=1669 |
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| Avtor: | Eagle [ 30 Avg 2006, 10:07 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | en letalski vic |
Potniki na letalu že nestrpno pričakujejo posadko, ko pride kopilot. Potniki začudeno pogledajo, ko vidijo da je slep in res kopilot si pomaga s palico do kabine. Potem pa pride kapitan in se vidi da je on tudi slep. Že nekako pride do kabine in so že motorji prižgani. Potniki seveda prestrašeni in opazujejo kaj bo zdaj, takrat pa se začnejo premikat. In so že na polovici steze, vsi jemlejo sapo ampak še ničesar ne govorijo, napetost raste, ko so že skoraj na koncu steze, tam dalje od steze pa je močvirje, potniki že res prestrašeni in ko so že res na koncu steze takrat začnejo kričati in letalo se dvige. Vsi si odahnejo, ko pilot reče drugemu: veš kaj, enkrat bodo potniki prepozno začeli kričati in bomo vsi končali v tistem močvirju. |
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| Avtor: | slovenac [ 09 Mar 2007, 03:13 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | BLOND PADALKI |
Padata in ena reče:poglej kako so ljudje majhni.Koza to so mravlje................................... |
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| Avtor: | Šerif [ 04 Avg 2007, 23:56 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | |
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| Avtor: | Ryben [ 17 Avg 2007, 18:27 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | If Chuck Norris was an aviator: |
Chuck Norris isn't holding, he is circling above his victims. Chuck Norris doesn't request clearances, he states intentions. Chuck Norris never gets vectors to final . . . final gets vectored to Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37. Hijackers squawk 7400 when Chuck Norris is on board. Chuck Norris doesn't use a radio. He just yells. Chuck Norris once shot down three enemy aircraft with his blivet. If you ever lose sight of Chuck Norris, check your six o'clock. When Chuck Norris taxies onto the runway, incoming traffic is told to hold short. Chuck Norris never "loses" altitude, he simply gets rid of it when he no longer has any use for it. Chuck Norris has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never dare get cross with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't fly into headwinds...the wind is always running away from Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Chuck Norris is never under pressure. When the BASH condition is Red, planes don't fly. When the BASH condition is Norris, birds don't fly. Chuck Norris does not have to worry about crashing into the ground. The ground will gladly get out of Chuck Norris' way. Chuck Norris has never had a midair collision, He has shot down any plane that has gotten within 10 miles. When told to break at the numbers, Chuck Norris politely reminded the controller that Chuck Norris cannot be broken and proceeded with the straight in. Chuck Norris was taking the active runway and noticed the windsock was pointed in his direction. Chuck Norris calmly got out of his plane walked over to the windsock and obliterated it with a double roundhouse kick. No one points at Chuck Norris...no one. Right of Way rules do not apply when Chuck Norris is flying. If you are flying toward Chuck Norris, you are wrong. Chuck Norris doesn't shoot approaches...he kills them. Two-way contact for Chuck Norris is when he hits you with both fists simultaneously. Once, Chuck Norris was told to down one of his students. That student is still recovering from his injuries. Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier with his Bell X-1 Jet. Chuck Norris broke the sound barrier with his fist. Chuck Norris doesn't manage operational risk...he seeks it. An ejection seat is not safe until Chuck Norris gets out of it. Chuck Norris was told to IDENT, the controller was greeted with a fist coming out of his radar screen. Chuck Norris has never had a successful recovery onboard a carrier; it is impossible to trap Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't level off; he tells the altimeter to stop moving. Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance...once. Shock and Awe are the names of Chuck Norris' legs. Minimum Safe Altitudes do not apply when Chuck Norris is airborne, if you are in the air when Chuck Norris is flying you are never safe. Chuck Norris is never given the instructions "when able" . Chuck Norris is never unable to do anything. Favorable winds are always in the same direction as Chuck Norris' flight path. Chuck Norris was flying and saw a wall of clouds ahead so he decided to punch through them. He then got back in his plane and flew through the hole he just made. Chuck Norris has never had to adapt his eyes to the dark. His infrared vision is working perfectly fine. Chuck Norris was told he was number two for landing. He immediately went to guns and shot the preceding aircraft. Chuck Norris does not follow anyone. A Flight Docs gives med up chits, Chuck Norris gives med down kicks. Chuck Norris is the only person to graduate SERE School via correspondence. On final, an LSO told Chuck Norris he was slow; that LSO never saw the ensuing eight kicks coming. The weather outlook for the area around Chuck Norris: 100% Chance of Pain. |
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| Avtor: | shemish [ 18 Avg 2007, 11:44 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | |
Ruben, ubijaš stari  Če te ne moti bom tole danes malce
ponucal v svoji oddaji na SkyBlueRadio.com ob 19z. |
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| Avtor: | bobnar [ 24 Dec 2007, 18:18 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | |
Stara tema, ampak ne bi odpiral nove... Pilot: Kontrola, tukaj RZ354, prosim oglasite se! Imamo zelo malo goriva, prosimo za navodila! Kontrola: Sporočite nam vaš položaj, ne vidimo vas na radarju! Pilot: Stojimo na ploščadi 3 in želimo izvedeti, kdaj pride cisterna z gorivom. Kapitan letala pozdravi potnike: ...Dosegli smo višino 9000 metrov, vreme je lepo...aaaaaaaaaa! Čez nekaj minut se pa spet oglasi: Spoštovani potniki in potnice, oprostite za prekinitev, ampak me je stevardesa po nesreči polila po belih hlačah. Morali bi videti, kakšne hlače imam zdaj tu spredaj! Zadaj se pa en potnik oglasi: Da bi videli, kakšne imam šele jaz t zadaj!!! Pilot letala, ki se ponoči približuje letališču, ugasne transponder in reče kontroli: Stolp! uganite, kdo prihaja!! Stopl pa ugasne luči na letališču, in reče: Uganite, kje smo! Lp Miha |
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| Avtor: | bostjan_81 [ 29 Jun 2008, 23:10 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | |
Hehehe  tale tazadna je dobra 
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| Avtor: | Šerif [ 29 Jun 2008, 23:27 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | |
Em, daj napiši, prosim, kaj novega, če že odgovarjaš na temo. Tu štejejo prispevki. V petnajstih minutah si sedaj odprl osem tem, nekatere stare od januarja... in za bralca ni preveč fino kliknit vsako posebej in na koncu ugotovit, da je nekdo spodaj napisal le 'hehe' ali 'ta je pa dobra', saj to vidi vsak zase. |
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| Avtor: | bostjan_81 [ 30 Jun 2008, 01:48 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | |
OK velja! LP, Boštjan |
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| Avtor: | N7 [ 03 Jul 2008, 00:58 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | |
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| Avtor: | Sergio [ 08 Avg 2008, 09:44 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | |
Z Izklopa: Posle svakog leta piloti avio-prevoznika Quantas ostave belesku mehanicarima sa opisom problema, a pred sledeci let mehanicari ostave odgovor sta su uradili. Inace, Quantas je jedina svetska avio-kompanija kojoj nikada nije pao avion. Zahtev: Leva guma skoro treba da se zameni. Izvestaj: Leva guma skoro zamenjena. Zahtev: Nesto se otkacilo u kabini. Izvestaj: Nesto smo zakacili u kabini. Zahtev: Autopilot sam gubi visinu za po 200 stopa u minuti. Izvestaj: Nismo uspeli da ponovimo problem na zemlji. Zahtev: Tragovi curenja na levom stajnom trapu. Izvestaj: Tragovi obrisani. Zahtev: Zvuk iz DME instrumenta glasan da ne poverujes. Izvestaj: Zvuk iz DME podesen na nivo u koji mozes da poverujes. Zahtev: IFF instrument neoperativan. Izvestaj: IFF instrument je uvek neoperativan kad je iskljucen. Zahtev: Sumnjamo na pukotinu u staklu vetrobrana. Izvestaj: Sumnjamo da ste u pravu. Zahtev: Nema motora broj 3 Izvestaj: Vizuelnim pregledom letilice pronadjen motor na levom krilu. Zahtev: Avion smesno reaguje na komande. Izvestaj: Avion upozoren da se uozbilji. Zahtev: cudan zvuk iz instrument table, kao da neki patuljak udara cekicem. Izvestaj: Patuljku oduzet cekic. |
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| Avtor: | NIKK [ 01 Jul 2010, 09:06 ] |
| Naslov prispevka: | Re: en letalski vic |
> Dva letališka monterja sta se v službi zelo dolgočasila, saj tisti dan ni bilo niti eno letalo potrebno servisiranja. Spila sta že vsak 6 pirov, ko se eden spomni: > > "Čuj, kaj če bi probala kaki je kerozin za pit. En kolega je reko, da ful trofi." Beseda je dala besedo in rukneta vsak dva deci. Že po nekaj sekundah sta bila zadeta ko prasca. Zjutraj se prvi zbudi doma v postelji. Niti približno se ni spomnil, kaj se je vse dogajalo, vedel je le, da je pil kerozin. Hitro se pregleda in vidi, da je še vedno v enem kosu, da nima nič zlomljenega. Ves vesel vstane, takrat pa zazvoni telefon. Klical ga je sodelavec in vprašal:"Si se že zbudo?" > > "Seveda" > > "Pa pregledo si se že, če si celi?" > > "Ja, vse je v enem kosi." > > "Kaj pa prdno si že?" > > "Ne še." > > > > "NE PRDI! Samo prdni ne, lepo te prosim!!!!!... Jaz te kličem iz Italije...."  
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